Transitions and phases

I spent a few days thinking about how to deal with the topic of transitions.

#FLEXIFIBLIAT (1).png

Good morning everyone!

 

I spent a few days thinking about how to deal with the topic of transitions.

 

Gail Sheehy wrote a book called "Passages" which became very famous, and now there are many more ... new versions and also versions adapted to the transitions that men and caregivers go through, for example.

The fact is that all cultures and the development of human nature are based on transitions. Transitions are very similar for people from the same culture and therefore can be predicted.

For example the transition from stopping breastfeeding and feeding only on “solids”, stopping to use diapers (and learning to control our sphincters), going to daycare (and not just being looked after by our family), puberty (leaving childhood behind), going from primary to high school or college, having sex, first job, motherhood, returning to work after motherhood, menopause , when a loved one dies, achieve physical / sporting goals.

I have tried to make a list to illustrate how present and normal transitions are. What I would also like to emphasize is that being predictable means that we can prepare (or we can prepare the person we are with, for example our children). The other side of the coin is that we can also seek help / support / someone to accompany us, when we know we need to go through a transition, become aware of what we may need.

 

Some coaches specialise in transitions, prepare you to look for work, accompany you when you return to work after maternity leave, support cancer survivors who return to "normal" life.

 

Another word related to this topic is "phase", when there is a transition roadmap, consequently there are periods between transition and transition. These are the phases.

Some phases are cyclical (such as the changes we can observe on the moon, which are repeated over and over again), but many have an origin, a period with a specific behavior, and an end.

Knowing that the phases will be over can be very helpful. For example, when we are having a bad time, it can comfort us to know that our “suffering” is temporary. We can direct our mind towards this better future, imagine what it will be like, prepare ourselves to enjoy it to the fullest.

When we go through a good period in our life and know that it will not last forever, this knowledge can stimulate us to take advantage of the present, perhaps by taking photos, writing a diary, finding a way to keep the experience in our mind.

 

What do we advise you about transitions?

<This too shall pass>

Read the Persian fable “This too shall pass” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass#:~:text=Origin%20of%20the%20fable,-The%20fable%20retold&text=Its%20origin%20has% 20been% 20traced, Sanai% 20and% 20Attar% 20of% 20Nishapur. & Text = After% 20deliberation% 20the% 20sages% 20hand, happy% 20when% 20he% 20is% 20sad.

When you are having a bad time, remember that the phase you are in will end. Focus on learning as much as you can from the experience, to make the most of it. There are many lessons in life and even bad times can be enriching. Being able to approach life with this mindset can, in some cases, help "make time go by faster." In any case, remember that what you are going through is not forever.

Get ready for the transitions

When you have a challenge, try to imagine the next stage, for example anticipating how good things will be or who you will be with. Just thinking positively will help. It alters your ability to perceive and allows you to see and conceive opportunities that you would not otherwise have seen.

Use the good moments to recharge your batteries, rest and prepare your body for the effort it will have to make.

Take advantage of the good phases

Unfortunately the good phases do not last forever. Enjoy them to the fullest, take advantage of them. In England some people say “dance like no one is watching”. There is a process of "letting go" in which we completely share what we have inside. It is important to share good times with those around us.

Look for support

A friend, a family member, a coach who listens to you, allows you to hear your thoughts, asks you questions which can help you find new or alternative perspectives. That is super valuable. Do you want to talk to me?

 

Where are you going now?

We are what we eat, we are what we think, we are what we smile, some what we love.

Imagine that the phases you go through are a gift / a blessing. Even if we have some bumps, who knows? If we look at our lives as a whole, we can often appreciate the role that each phase has played in our path, in our development.