“Values aren't buses... They're not supposed to get you anywhere. They're supposed to define who you are.”
― Jennifer Crusie
How are you? In this second blog about coaching I would like to talk about (personal) values.
Our values define our essence. They are what we consider (though not always consciously) when we make decisions.
When we "disobey" them, when we don't listen to them, when we are in situations that contradict them, they are the reason why we leave work, or a person.
When you are aware of your values, you have a compass at your disposal that helps you align your decisions and the situations you get into, with your priorities.
Each one of us has a hierarchy of values (more than one value and in a certain order). What is very important to someone may seem trivial to someone else. If you have ever been surprised by someone's reaction, if you find how others behave a mystery, how differently we react to each other in the same situations... look at how values motivate our behaviors.
When our priorities and actions are inconsistent with our values (this is described as not aligned), what we experience is what we feel is a tension called "inner conflict."
Conflicts drain our energy. We often try to make small changes, adjust circumstances or conditions to "make do", so that we can move forward. But these small changes rarely resolve (or eliminate) the conflict.
Sometimes we look at other people around us, we wonder how they solve similar situations, we wonder if we can imitate them or learn from them to deal with our issues.
In the professional world in particular, I’ve seen many times how one person’s behavior and strategies didn’t work the same way when another person used them.
My goal with this article is to encourage you not to keep doing this. I would like to encourage you to give yourself permission to think that you are unique, that you have your own set of skills and talents, therefore the way forward is to find how to deal with our situations in a way it works for us.
Get to know yourself better
Look at this list and choose the 10 values https://soulsalt.com/list-of-values-and-beliefs/ you identify yourself with. Then make the effort (yes, it's an effort!) To shorten the small list so there are only 5 left.
This is not an exercise in philosophy or language - explain your values in your own way, define them as you wish, they can have the "label" you like best. The most important thing is that they have a name and that you know what they mean.
Get to know others better
When you talk to others, try to hear what they are not saying, the clues they give you about what matters to them. It is very practical to be aware of what matters to others ;-) when we have to deal with them.
3. Respect others
The more different the values of others, the more important it is to show respect for their individuality. This is often unnatural, while criticising, showing disagreement, even ridiculing the criteria of others is what most people do. Or even when facing differences, we end up rejecting and separating ourselves from people. In general, except when it comes to “toxic” people, it is very interesting and enriching to know how to live with people different from us.
What are your values?
Are you aware of the contexts in which you use them? In Japan, they have the concept of IKIGAI. In this article, they explain a practical application of being aware of values: when they help you find the point of intersection between what you like, what you do well, what the market values, what you need. https://www-forbes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.forbes.com/sites/chrismyers/2018/02/23/how-to-find-your-ikigai-and-transform- your-outlook-on-life-and-business / amp /
What do you want us to talk about in the next article?
You can leave comments here or contact me at email@example.com
I wish you a lot of energy and good health!